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Lillian
RECEIVED February 24, 2007
i had a crush on my fiance for five months before i even spoke to her. when i finally had the guts to, we hit it off. i loved being around her because she made me laugh-non-stop.
a day after hanging out with each other, rhonda told me she had gender dysphoria. trying to act as though i was cool and intelligent, i pretended i knew what the hell that was.
a friend sitting with us asked what "gender dysphoria" was, and rhonda replied simply, "i want to be a woman."
well, in one uncool move, i systematically choked on my sandwich, and pitifully tried to regain my composure. i was freaked. here was this hot looking guy, the guy of my dreams, and
he wants to be WHAT?!?!
nevertheless, i was intrigued, and actually, i was interested. i wanted to know more. "if nothing else," i said to myself, "this will be one hell of a trip." i
made a quick decision. what would be a segue in? "can i do your nails?" i asked.
it just was a sweet ride from there. there were many moments i had and shared with rhonda that were truly an honor. when she officially began to use her name, and when she officially
changed it. it was quite hard for me when she changed her name. i had loved her birth name quite a lot. (it was very ethnic.) and it took me quite some time to grow with rhonda. but having been with her for going on
2 years now, her name was meant for her. perky and spunky! and yes, i can actually say, it's cute.
i was shaken the first time i saw her get dressed up to go out. we were just going shopping, and she had on a dress i had actually given her.
i felt such a mix of emotions. i felt bad for being embarassed, but i also felt excitement and exhilaration for just being a part of her life, and for realizing i could be myself.
in the last 14 months of living and loving rhonda, we have come to discover how wonderful it is to finally just be able to be ourselves. for in being with rhonda, i am able to start
expressing myself the way i never could with other people i had been involved with. i thank my lucky stars my parents brought me up to see the beauty and specialness inside a person's soul-no matter what's on the
outside.
it's so hard for me to understand why people are so crude, and blatantly ignorant when they pose questions to either rhonda or to me about us and our life, as if we're freaks in a
side show. our life is so completely ordinary, it's sometimes hard to not get angry as to why we're not considered average like everyone else. but when i stop and think about it, my rhonda is an already brilliant
diamond in the rough. and i myself am not too dull, either. variety is the spice of life. and we will always have it!
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