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		Michee Received October 18, 2002 UPDATE November 3, 2002 UPDATE December 15, 2002 (on its own page) October 4th First let me say Thanks. My name is Michee . I would like to know places and things that we can participate in outside my house. My husband has been a crossdresser since he was little. One night while we were still friends... We were supposed to have a first time together. Before that he was going to tell me. But he didn't have the courage to so not only didn't I find out but we didn't fool around that night either. We are very good friends and very close. A short time later he showed me his things "clothes makeup etc." and told me. At first I told him he could do it but I didn't want to see it. Then I asked him if he wanted to dress up cause I think I would like to see it and he said he had no desire for it anymore. Not realizing it when we moved out of his parents house I asked him if he wanted to keep any of that stuff and he said no so I thru it out. OMW what a mistake. About 2 years later we were married. About 6 months before we were married our problems began. but I wanted to get married ! and hoped things would change as we went along. I have constanly begged for his attention and it seemed like the lights were on but no one was home..(DUH) We went to marriage counseling, and we worked some of it out. but not completly. It was like something was missing and I could never figure out quite what. I kept telling him this is up to you to fix this. your body is here but where are you? We would only make love about once or twice every 6 months and I always felt like he was just doing it to please me. and being so far and few between I missed him so much that I would cry just having him for a little while and then knowing he was sure to dissapear again. We have always treated eachother with respect and dignity..( yeah right what little did I know) and how demanding I really was. In fact when we went on vacation and we were at odds no one could even tell. Cause even when we are really mad we still make sure the other one is taken care of. in a friendship type way. OK getting to the point. In August I took a getaway vacation to LA. I was ok for a couple of days... Then I was as misserable as before I left. Something in my husbands voice changed. I knew he miseed me lots. didn't know exactly why. When I got home he was very affectionate and really missed me. Then the next morning...I notice nail polish on his toes........Boy was I mad. not really more like jelous that he didn't share it with me. then makeup later, then clothes. So somewhere in there we started to discuss it. (BINGO) That is what what missing. I have my husband back. The affectionate caring person who just wants to be with me because and I don't feel bad anymore. We bought a sexual game ( really has nothing to do with sex ) so I would advise it to any marriage in trouble. We played it for a while and then some questions came up in the game that had to be answered......Like would you care less for me if _____________. and so on. We discovered something special. We were able to reach down into the core of our relationship and discover that we loved eachother no matter what. In fact I found out that a pair of panties and pantihose I discovered and thought belonged to another female ( don't ask how that week went ) were in fact his. Now we spend quality time together at home in the car and quietly to ourselves his little kid as we call it. The hard part is that now my little kid wants to come out too and his dressing up really helps with that cause I pretend he is my mom instead of my mom. Well what I guesss I was doing it trying to find someone I can tell my story too. Thanks for reading. I would like for him to go out in public with other heterosezual cross dressers and fit in somewhere besides with me. thanks michee if you have any questions or comments feel free to email me back Clownfacemime_Wife@Yahoo.com October 14th My personal thought on c/ders Maybe he was just playing and letting his kid out? maybe the girls that they portrait are just thier little kids having fun? I don't know but what I do know is that I am feeling a bit strange at the moment. I guess my situation is different than most.My DH is a man dressed up or not he is still a man. he does not do it to feel sexy or get aroused wearing my clothes or his own he just likes to do it.But then again so do I. I didn't accept it at first. And I get kinda aroused when he does it. And I get extreemly aroused when I do it with his clothes. Most of the time I steal his pantyhose and make up because I didn't take the time to get my own or mainly take care of mine. We were missing his little kid. I'll gladly take the c/d any day over what I have been missing out on. but I do enjoy it. All the things that got locked up in the closet that went along with the cd. He does not make love to me as a woman but as a man sometimes dressed lots, sometimes just nailpolish and sometimes dressed as a man. I was emotionally abused growing up and then date raped and battered later so I am anything but fem. Maybe that helps too. I get aroused when he wears my clothes not because he is dressed like a woman but becuase he is shars in my stuff and the person he trusts me with completly when he is dressed. is this making any sense. Anyway us sharing the way that we have has really knocked down some protective barriers for both of us. my little kid comes out and he tells me how safe it is to do so. We play alot not for attention anymore but for enjoyment of eachother. crayons and coloring books in pajamas like a sleepover, finger paint on bodies with special glow in the dark lotions, using the eye mask and just trusting the other one with different flavors to your mouth and soft frilly things to your body, and on paper with paints, just to get creative. Boy the intimate things you'll share and find out! When I hear you ladies talking about don't touch my stuff, I completely understand. Its yours and you have that right. Maybe thier just doing it to provoke you for some attention that will prove that you love them even if they do something wrong. Cause quite honestly I hear my mom. Well you lied and didn't even ask. How about: what 1 piece of my clothing do you like the best? ok I will share it with you, on one condition, this is my boundary and I would like you to try and respect that in the same way I am trying to respect your boundries dressing. I love you no matter what and I hope that we can come to a compromise. When they are dressing treat them like your children. Show them that what they did you consider wrong but they themselves are nothing wrong. The most important thing ever said to me was by my father in law......you know what not to do nextime....Wow I will never forget that!! Remember constructive criticism. If you don't know how the other person feels about a particuar subject then how can they change thier behavior. And if you have to continue then remind them, They might just have forgotten or maybe like I said trying to get your attention the only way they know how. See like in the car today I told him I am afraid to be honest with him because he holds it against me inside. So we compromised. If I am honest that is how I am feeling at that particular moment, later I might change my mind and feel differently. ( room for discussion and change ) So ask again or if I bring it up then I am seeing things differently know please know this. He said ok thanks for your honesty. Hubby and I decided to discuss things in the car while driving. Luckily we only have one car. Find a mutual ground where you can discuss your feeling for a particular moment, if that moment it happens it's not good for you. Then when you get to that mutual ground you can discuss it and no feelings will get hurt I hope. It actually works because niether of you are vonerable to feel like your being attacked and then get defensive. me <---------very defensive all the time. Also very important......Please do try the letter thing. It really works. After 6yrs my hubby is just now starting to understand my feelings instead of going on asumptions because of my letter writing to you. Then we started just to write to eachother. Its really wierd. And today I discovered that its because were talking to the person inside and not the person we see that we don't like because of some reason. I am truly confused now about how I feel not about hubby but not thinking like most of you do I feel like the other side, althought I am a naturally born woman I realate more closely with the c/d's then thier spouses, and men then women. No I don't have a true fairy tale life we argue and fight like everyone else. but unlike the last 5 years we know now that nothing can come between us if we continue to be upfront open and honest wth eachother. Its not easy but its a piece of cake compaired to 5 years of misery. Well thanks I stop writing now Michee October 16th last night we made some real progress. We went to a costume shoppe to buy a wig and a mustache. we ended up spending 3-1/2 hours trying to find the right wig then I made up his face to be able to see it better and finally found one. he didn't mind it at all infact he drove home like that. So at least he is starting to be more confident about the way he feels. that he's not a bad person because of his dressing. And about the kid thing. We considered the gifts as for christmas and I got a feathered cat oufit that makes a wish come true for me. paws and everthing. we had fun playin in the costume shoppe. Him finding the right wig and me just playing with all the neat hats. then finding the cat outfit.<----the mask that's what did it. oh and the cape too might I add. :) November 3rd The past two weeks have been really crazy. Filled with all kinds of mixed up feelings and ranges of surpirses. It took alomst that long to get our costumes just right, with all the accessories and everyhing. We had a very bad fight because I paid so much attention to his little kid and he paid almost no attention to mine. After walking about 3 miles in the rain and having dinner with a friend and not getting home till almost 10 that night, I made him take off all girl clothes and lay in bed and talk talk talk. Well we did more than talk and made up. We went Thurs to En Femme Getaway for his first time out and meeting new people it was wonderful. Victoria wore a hot pink spagetti strap dress, black boots, fishnet stockings, girtle to keep belly in, padded bra, for support, black velvet cape with hot pink spider mesh on the back, earings, bracelet, long silver chain with beaded ending, black witches hat with pink top sourounded by black spider netting, and makeup. she! was to die for. I wore feathered and dark green cape, black furry slippers, black furry ankle looking things, fur with feathers around my hands, black gloves, black body suite with furr all over it, green and rinestone accessories, and a feathered cat mask. I felt and looked pretty good too. We just had soooooo much fun. Although I had a problem with his femme name that we created for this event because I didn't want him to be called by a male name in femme personality. I don't have that problem anymore. The next morning he took a pee and had his girtle and pantyhose over his knees and what a girl I told her she was. We both sat there and laughed over it for about 15 min. the things that can instantly change your mind. I really don't have a problem now introducing her as victoria because that is who she is and I don't have a problem with ``D" either. We went to breakfast with the other girls, we went home then came back for the banquet dinner on Saturday night. That was an ordeal in itself. He had boots so I told her she could wear my favorite outfit because it will got well with the boots. While she was getting dressed I copped an attitude. Didn't feel right. I thought I was jealous about her wearing my fav dress but it was more then that. I just didn'! t feel comfortable myself with getting dressed. I shut the door and turned out the lights and sat and just thought about what do I need to change about this situation to feel better. Because its her night and I didn't want to spoil it. I opened the light and put on his dress shirt, no make up no fancy hair do and immediatly felt better. I took out his dress pants, and took the fancy jewlery off and I felt even better. I walked out of the room and asked her if she minded that I wear this to the cd event. She said whatever makes you feel comfortable its a cd event and I want you to be comfortable. awwwwww. I guess I just didn't feel like being one of the girls. and Victoria accepted that. ( it was the true michee and how she feels inside which made a very big difference then the label she's supposed to be ). Might I tell you it was very scary and some of the things said hit very hard because I was myself for myself and had ! to accept things as they came. It was hard too. Its amazin g how much my hubby is teaching me about myself and being a girl. And I am amazed at how much I have learned about myself as a person not a label. Like taking care of jewerly and clothes and stuff. Told her that if I have to help take care of your stuff then you better help cause I don't even take care of my own stuff. We have met a lot of really wonderful people and I am so proud of him and her because it has really improved our marriage by 110%. I love all of him and I love all of her too. Now the hard part comes lets see how much he can learn to love all of me. Victoria has been very supportive of my traveling thru the femme part of this ride. Now her learing and growing is very much allowing Michee to grow up and learn what she (Michee) is all about too. Victoria passing thru these phases already might just help me get thru my phases a little easier) I like having a new friend and supportive one instead of pretending she's my mom. I just accept her for who she is and she is starting to accept me for the person I have started to trust her with. What this past weekend has taught me. CDing is much like anything else, its about changing and growing up you can either do it together and enjoy eachother ( which will cause heartache but worth it ) or not accept it and create much more heartache. LABELS Supportive Other, Cross Dresser, daughter, son, obligation, mother, father, brother, sister, dog, cat, gay, TransGender, TransSexual, wife, husband, aunt, uncle, diabled, sick, grandparent, maid, bartender, secretary, cousin, lesbian, lawyer, archetect, roofer, jewish, rich, poor, black, white, indian, russian, mexican, skitsofrantic, attention deficit disorder, bipolar, borderline personality, multiple personality, lover, fighter, middle eastern, buda, male, female, girl, boy, arab, and the list goes on These are many types of labels that we ( meaning lots of people ) use to describe ourselves and the people around us. Please remember to remove the label and see the person for who and what they are, and have to offer of themselves as a human being with thoughts and feeling and not the label that they were branded with. Don't describe people in these ways let them describe themselves for who they are. :) (Thanks "Tess") Michee :) That is my goal for the New Year. Read Michee's December 2002 Update! OR: Move on to the next story... >>Are you in a committed relationship with a transgendered person? How early did you find out? How did you find out? How would you have rather found out? How do you deal with your partner--what allowances, limitations, discussions... Let us hear from you! Email RenoDana Return to the SO Home Page Return to the site Home Page