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ANA LISA
Received March 18, 2000
My name is Ana Lisa. I'm 5'6", slim, attractive and have a booming personality. I'm pretty much feminine although my masculine side is pretty well developed in that I'm assertive, aggressive and am a union heavy equipment operator. Deb and I are in our fourth year of being together. I'm bisexual, and very open minded. I've had very fulfilling relationships with both sexes because when I fall in love, it's with the person, although men have been more prevalent. I'm a sucker for a feminine, smooth face. I thought I was going to die the first time I ever kissed Deb.
Deb was born with male parts but identifies as TS. She is barely 5'5", had long bleach blonde hair, weighed 130 pounds and had been on hormones for 4 years which gave her all the right curves, smoothness, and femininity to pass. She is demure, incredibly shy, and has an unusually feminine and beautiful face with a gorgeous cheekbone structure. I was sure she had surgery but it's natural. Our first encounter, she was dressed in androgynous clothes and in the dim light, at first I thought she was a girl. She introduced herself to me as Deb. (That was honest.) If I'm not mistaken, a spark flew then or at least a definite interest. I met her through a mutual friend I had just met and he brought Deb over with him to my house one night in late 1996. Very shortly after that first meeting, we made plans to meet again.
The mutual friend, Carmen, was the tech who worked at my opticians office. Carmen somehow picked up a vibe from me that it would be cool to reveal his true nature to me that he was a TV outside the office, on one of my first visits to the eye doctor's. I had never had any friends in the past that CD'ed or were TG'ed.
I came to Carmen's house one night (invited) after the clubs closed in the city. Once inside Carmen's, Deb was there and another post-op named Rebecca. That first night, all we did was have a rap session. I asked so many questions. With every question I asked, the three were more than open and honest with their answers. They even seemed glad I was curious to ask and educate myself and probably dispel the myths. I felt like Oprah.
The next date was at Carmen's again. Everyone was there. Carmen started to show me some of his drag. I I got the idea for us all to dress up using Carmen's stuff, he had that much. What I was about to see would knock me off my feet. Deb came out in such a short, tight dress. Having a shoe size a half size smaller than mine made her dainty heels accentuate her shapely beautiful legs even more. Her makeup was to kill for. I was looking at a pro. Good thing I'm not shy... I got her number that night and it was established also that night that there was a mutual attraction. (Yay.)
For the next 6 months, Deb and I started going out in drag every Saturday night. I can't tell you how much we were attracted to one another, how exciting it was every Saturday to wait for her door to open when I picked her up and see how lovely she looked and that she was going to be my date for the night!
Although I had always appreciated more of a Channel look, Deb seemed to prefer slut wear but boy was she a vamp! She was hot! She helped me to unleash and unlock from societies no-no's given me as a woman that I couldn't show cleavage or wear a mini without being a whore. Suddenly I
was wearing short and tight too.
I felt so free and had so much fun being liberated after so many years of those social taboos of society's dress standards dictated for me. If I wanted to please my mate and wear a sexy slutty dress and have my boobs half exposed I could. The two of us were knockouts and incredibly vain. We had no qualms about gazing at ourselves in the mirror and saying how beautiful we were. I felt
like Gemini twins with her. We traded clothes one of the first things and too bad for that half shoe size smaller because I couldn't cash in on the 40 something pair of heels Deb had.
We went to gay friendly clubs where we weren't shy to express our affections publicly say, at the bar, on the dance floor. And if I had to push her up against the wall to start suddenly kissing her madly, it was alright. When walking the streets, like say from the car to the place we were going, we didn't have any trouble because we were like how another woman wrote in her story here, when you walk with confidence, nobody's really going to mess with you. One night though we did have 2 cops give us a pleasant "good evening fellows" so we would know that they knew we were guys, (goes to show how much they knew...). I liked getting in drag because I could exaggerate my makeup like Deb and be a dramatic star just like her. Theatrics runs heavy in my blood anyway. Another time a woman came to me on the dance floor and insisted I was a guy..maybe my mascara was too heavy...or my wonder bra too wondrous (grin). But I did also get to experience the fright and terror that can arise when walking late at night in drag and two young males come walking toward you, that anything can happen particularly since some good ole boys come specifically to gay areas just for a night of drunken fun and queer bashing.
As far as "was he gay" went, she is bi but has always been with men. She explained to me she was tired of men. They didn't treat her right. Like after the fun was over, there was no lying there and holding one another and cuddling. There was no bringing her home to mother either. There was no taking her to a nice restaurant in drag or nurturing. She complained of such an absence of emotional bonding and empty feelings after the fling was up. Now she was being spoiled rotten by a maternal madonna. One of the first things I did was take her while she was in drag to a fancy restaurant on the wharf, I felt so bad for her. She got used to it quick and we grew. Yes I had some insecurities as to "would she go back to men or miss it? Am I able to keep her satisfied." She had the same fear with me too. But we soon grasped the understanding that no matter what your sexual preference is, when you're in a monogamous relationship with someone, you don't stray. She had always wanted very much to be with women but didn't know how she was going to get past the drag part or how would such a shy person like this even begin to break the ice with an otherwise "straight woman." Besides, she was so much more accepted by the gay community although we all know that bi's and drag queens are on the bottom rung even on the gay ladder.
In bed was another story. Although the hormones had prevented Deb from getting an erection too often, we improvised, role played, and it was passionate and overwhelmingly good even without the erection. Just undressing her after getting home from the clubs made me weak and melt to see that male part between her legs and here she was my gorgeous little lesbian queen. You want to talk about excitement, I couldn't get enough of her. She was everything to me and satisfied my gay and straight side totally.
As we began living together (we both kept our perspective places for the first year for safety), it amazed me to see what a scientific mind my Deb had. The first time she opened up the hood to a car and began tinkering, it shocked me because girls don't fix cars. It really made me laugh. I started to see the male side when it came to her work. Owning her own business didn't create a problem as far as occupation went. She's an electronics wizard and repairs, builds and invents. I was always amazed at women who could do nontraditional work. Don't mean to sound sexist or stereotype here, but how many female operators do you know in construction...come on...
Deb's also a bass player and we were in the same band briefly where she did drag for stage. People in the audience thought she was a biological woman. I loved showing her off and the people that wanted her in the audience didn't have a chance because I was taking her home. Performing in the same band made it possible for me to keep my hawk eye on her.
Our fights were no picnics and I found a snarling, catty bitch who could fight as fiercly as I. Thank God those have simmered down as we've come to understand one another better.
When it came to family and friends, this didn't pose any problem for me either because I come from a family of eccentrics and I've been out since my early twenties. Not to mention my mother is gay and I don't care about being judged by anyone else except when it came to my job. The very first time Deb came to pick me up from one of my construction sites, some of my coworkers wanted to know who was the hot blonde and could I hook them up. They naturally assumed she was just a girlfriend and not my lover. So I kept her away for the most part in the beginning. But after I got on last year with a great contractor who really likes me for me and my productivity, I am now comfortable enough to bring Deb to my company picnics and the company Christmas party although not in drag. Some of them know she is a drag queen and like it too (horny bastards). I think only one girlfriend of mine couldn't accept it and pretty much told us we were a couple of freaks. Needless to say, she's no longer a part of our life. I'm an oppressed person and so I band with the oppressed and society's "throw always". They are the most intelligent, artistic, characters with a wealth of experience and information. What is disappointing though is that none of my friends or family (except for mom who already understands TD), bothers to ask me any questions or to help them to understand. But maybe they're trying to respect our privacy and I'm being paranoid...yeah, right. I am like a whole lot of the other women on this site too who are fiercely protective of their trannies.
Half way into our relationship, it began to bother both of us that he couldn't "perform" enough and sometimes our fantasies in bed got old. Deb decided to get off the hormones by herself. I never imagined her body would change so much and into a...him. Now Deb is a lot male and we don't much get to see the female side. Deb works with a friend doing construction now in addition to his business and now being off the hormones his hair is back thick, yes I said he. He's muscular, solid and butch. He stopped doing drag as the weight shifted and the muscles bulked up. Our relationship started feeling like a regular hetero one. Where he is the man and I am the woman. I have to say I have enjoyed this change too because he is still, after all, Deb, that same kind, sweet, thoughtful, understanding, nurturing person I met back then. And I did tell you I fall in love with the person. I inquired about the female since she hadn't surfaced in awhile and expressed that I missed it. So it was pleasant to come home one Friday evening after a hard days work of widening a canal, to open the door and be greeted by Deb in full makeup and a sparkly dress with heels on. My mouth dropped open and then I grinned from ear to ear. Even though I was tired as hell, guess I had to take the little lady out dancing that night. And I did. But that was one of the last times and it has been about 4 months.
Deb cut his really long hair off too now because he complained it wasn't consistent with the rest of his appearance. Don't worry though, nothing too conventional and still on the faggy side, thank God.
The most recent talks we had I inquired how he was feeling now that he was so butch and how did he feel that he wasn't coming out with his female side much any more. With a sigh he explained to me that he knew what was going to happen when he got off the hormones. After all, he knew what he looked like before hormones, it was only I who never saw Deb other than anything but a beautiful, petite, waif model. He also explained to me that when the feeling comes again, he knows what to do when he wants to do drag, meaning ways to hide and create illusion to give him a feminine look in spite of the new bulk. He's done it before. He wasn't always on hormones.
I have to say, through all the changes we've been through, I have loved every one of them and appreciate every facet of the positive changes that have come about. I allow Deb to be Deb, whatever that means because Deb gives me the same space for growth. We have a beautiful trust and understanding and most of all we are best girlfriends. We can shop together and exchange opinions on dresses, wigs, nail color and shoes. (We used wigs for stage-Deb didn't need a wig with her great hair.) We hold each other every night when we go to bed and we do everything together because we really enjoy each other's company for the people we are. And really, if none of us had sexual organs, we'd still all be human beings, and that means treat each other gently with respect, love and be honest.
In closing, I'd like to thank our hostess Dana for providing a meeting place for the SO's. Thank you Dana. When I told Deb about this new web page I found, he grinned because it flatters him that I always want to know more about him. When I asked him yesterday if there was anything more I could do or be for him so that his life was happy and content, she smiled and said "Are you kidding? You are so supportive of me. Whatever I need to do, I know you'll be there for me."
Feel free to email.
Ana Lisa
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