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T.S.
Received December 18, 1999
I am deeply in love with a man. At least, I know him as a man. But he isn't sure exactly what or who he is. He says he wants to be a woman. He says he likes only women, and that he
was born a "lesbian". He's had feelings like this for a long time, since he was about 9 I think.
Now, I am a liberal, bisexual genetic female. I like women, I really do. But I NEVER wanted a relationship with one. I had two boys when I met him, and we now have a baby of our own.
That's all I ever wanted. A husband, kids... my idea of a real family.
He had alot of problems in his past, including an abusive mother. I don't know everything that happened, because I think it is too painful and/or embarrassing for him to open up
about completely, but I know that she was horribly abusive both mentally and physically and I know he is very scarred by that.
I am actually hoping that, through therapy, we will find out that this has something to do with the reason he feels this way. I want a husband, a man, a father.
But I love him so much. I want to be supportive of him. Sometimes I wish he had told me how he felt before we got involved, but then I think, "If he had told me then, before I
fell in love with him, would I have even become involved with him at all?" Well, truthfully, probably not. I like kissing women sometimes, and playing around, but as I said, I NEVER wanted a relationship with
one.
I want him to be happy, and he's not. He's torn between wanting to be a man for me and needing to be a woman for himself. I'm not thoroughly convinced it will be right for him, which
is why we are seeking a specialist in gender dysphoria.
I want someone to talk to, someone who understands how I feel. I want someone to help me get through this and that I can help, too. I don't want to lose him. I love him, even if it
means I end up loving HER.
He will always be the same person on the inside, no matter what he looks like on the outside, and I will do whatever it takes to help him be all he can be.
Please e-mail me tbs@pplmail.com if any SO's want to chat!
Thanks,
T.S. (Yes, those are my real initials :)
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