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MICKEY
Received April 27, 1998
Hi, I'm Mickey and here is my story.
I've been married for almost 12 years. About mid August my husband informed me that he enjoys wearing bodystockings. I said ok, no problem. Well that started everything rolling. A
couple of nights later he was in a mood--I wasn't sure why. As we were in bed he made a comment about not opening the e-mail. That got me wondering why. I had all kinds of ideas circling around, but boy I
wasn't ready for what he had to say.
I kept pressuring him Why!! Why!! Who is she. **S**.. There is no one. He said .Then what is it. He finally gave in and to my terror he told me he was putting up a webpage,and expect
it to be addressed to Patricia.
I sat straight up. What are you telling me? I enjoy wearing women's clothes. I got out of bed to my disbelief lit up a cigerette.Now I had all new ideas going thru my head. Are you
gay? Ain't I woman enough? How far is this gonna go? Why didn't you tell me before? Like when we first met.
I couldn't go to sleep so I went surfing around trying to find out more about CrossDressing.I found alot of sites,stories and finally came across a chatroom. I didn't go in just kept
surfing but,for some reason I bookmarked it.
For about 3 weeks it was every quiet in our house. I thought about leaving and also killing myself. We have 3 young children--I couldn't just leave them.On my night off I went
surfing again , for some reason the first place I went to was the chatroom. I told everyone what had just
happened. I asked them was it ok for me to be there. They said no problem.They told me to ask them any
questions I might have. So I did. They then started asking me questions also. Next thing I knew it was morning.They all helped me out a lot and I thanked them for their help. When my husband woke up I gave him a big
hug, but said nothing.
Later I told him about the chatroom and how it helped me. Told him he should stop by.
One thing I found out what I was so upset about was being lied to. I hate lies. I understand why he didn't tell me.He was afraid to lose me. The person he loved the most.
I have bought makeup for him and clothes. All the accessories that he would need to become complete. I also had to ask myself about my sexuality. Could I make love with another
woman? I have never been with another female, but I have thought about it. This is my husband..A man in my mind I couldn't make it work.
As far as sex...I'm having a problem. I had only one request--not to wear fem clothes in bed..I want my man there..At first he could see why and would do what ever he wanted .Then
would say what's wrong with you don't you want me..
I have made myself clear many times. We stopped talking. I felt my life was in limbo. I didn't know where I stood in our relationship. I found out he was visiting sites and looking at other CD/TV/TS--that didn't bother me. Then I found out he was looking at sex photos of full TS ..Woman on top(breast) and a man on the bottom(penis) in sex acts with other men and women. Now I'm really upset. In my mind he didn't want me. I could never become that way.
I wasn't sure about him anymore, Did he want to go all the way? Did he really want me.? I had, had enough came home told him we needed to talk. I never told him to stop or
leave. All I ask for is some compromising. I asked does he want me,does he want to go all the way?
Well we both talked ,yelled, and went into different rooms of the house. Later we talked and we are starting to settle down again. I told him it upsets me that he goes to different
sites. I'm not hurting anything.But he's hurting me. I was so mad I told him fine if I go to sex sites and look at photos or someone starts cybering with me I didn't want to hear anything about it. He said fine. I
don't think I'll ever do it, but who knows. It was just a point I had to make.
It's getting easier day by day. I even chat with SO's that need to talk. I've been looking for a place we can call our own. Links, forums,chats and profiles of Who We Are. Even
thinking of starting my own.
I do Love my Husband and I want you all to know this. We have a lot to straighten out in all this mess. Right now he is getting out of this cycle of "Trish" (short for
Patricia ). He was so wrapped up in himself and her that I felt left out.That should never happen but it does.. I know I'm not the only one this has or is happening to. Trying to learn and love Trish is not easy
when he is keeping her to himself.
If anyone that has gone thru the same thing or not. I'd love to hear from you. We all need someone to talk to. I also have ICQ. So e-mail me: mickey_c@geocities.com
Thanks, Mickey.
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