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PAULA
Received February 6, 1998
I am 22 and involved with a transgendered person.(M2F)
You ask how did i find out?
I found out when he told me about 3 weeks ago. he started by telling me one day about a dream he had the night before. in this dream he was a woman.
And then he said that he had considered / thought about becoming a woman many times in his life, but not anymore.
I told him that perhaps he should look into those feelings, and explore the fount of information on the Web. well, he did and a few days later told me that he was considering SRS. I
know it is not something that one can say "hey, I think i'll fly to Belgium and see a doctor about getting a Sex Change," but after he and I discussed it for a while, (hours..days...at least an hour a day
for the last 3 weeks) we decided that if that is what he needs to feel complete, happy, whole, and comfortable with himself, then, I will have to lear how to live with it.
The way i feel is this: I said "'I do' for the rest of my life," not for as long as you are exactly how you
are when we got married.
You also ask: How early did I find out?
Well, we have been married nearly a year. it will be a year on March 14......and we have been together for nearly 2 years. Ours was what some may call a whirlwind romance. I met him
in the begining of May, and I started spending lots of time with him and crying to him about the last person I dated before him. About 3 weeks later he said "Why don't you drop P------ like a box of rocks and
go out with me?"
Well, about 2 weeks after that, I moved in. on June 30/July 1 of 1996 (it was around midnight) we decided that we wanted to get married and had a private just the 2 of us
"ceremony," in which we promised to love and support each other for the rest of our lives. Then on March 14, 1997 we went and made it legal. (I think this may bore you, but I love to tell the story!)
But I think what you mean by ``how early" is ``how early in the relationship?"
Well, for me it was either nearly 1 or 2 years depending on how you look at it. But I do know that as long as I have know my husband (his name is Rei which he is going to use as his
female name) he has liked to wear makeup occasionaly, usually just lipstick. And I also know that the first time I looked at him I thought he was a girl. Not that he crossdresses, he just is one of those men that is
naturally very feminine. (This has given me some odd theories about him, but I will save those for later.) So when I'm thinking about it, it does not surprise me much.
You also ask how would I wish to have found out:?
Well, I found out in the way that most women would LOVE to find out. My husband came right out and said it. But since finding out I have learned that this is something that he
has thought about and felt since he was 8 years old. He is now 22, and he only stopped thinking about it often (he says constantly, or at least once a week) when he met me. He figured at that time "Well, I am
married now, and I guess I will just have to accept that I am a man and leave it at that."
I guess I would say that I wish he had been comfortable enough to tell me sooner, but it is only recently that he has been comfortable enough to admit it to himself, so I guess being
the second person after him to find out is pretty good.
I am sorry that this letter is soooooo long but I am a very long-winded
type of person. I try not to, but once I get talking about something, I find it hard to stop. I hope
this letter helps you; I know it has helped me. Just writing it has been very cathartic. I am sorry to have to clutter up your screen with my babblings, but they are babblings with purpose.
Thanks for listenting.
Paula Drennan Dana's note: As of July 28 1999, this Email address didn't work. Paula, if you read this, please send me your new address!
I would like to hear form other T*SO especially those who are the SO of a person who is seeking/has had SRS.
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