|
PAM
Received January 29, 1998
I've been married to the love of my life for 1-1/2 years. We lived together for 2 years prior to getting married, and both of us had been married before, had children with
other partners, and lived on opposite ends of the country!
Fate brought us both to the same state (Nevada) at about the same time and we met while working together for a construction company. I'm the office manager; s/he a truck driver. (Is there any way to make a long story short?)
To get back to the subject at hand, I suspected S had an interest in feminine things early in our relationship, and once we lived together, was more certain. My only concern at
that time was how to approach the subject. S never tried to. I figured out an approach and went for it. As we had a very creative and satisfying sex life, I suggested that I would like to make him
up; we planned an evening that would work for us (we have 4 kids between us) and his response was extremely enthusiastic. One thing led to another, and s/he talked and talked and talked.
I read, and read, and read. Funny thing is, I never had any real concerns about it! After reading as much material as I have (alot), I now realize that I am unusual.
So, now the rest of this letter is intended for other SO's. I hope no one is offended by my harshness. But here goes. First, your husband is still the SAME person
he was when you met him, etc.
I simply don't understand the inability of a women to accept what is. I'm wondering if others feel that this is a "perversion" and, therefore, worry that there are MORE "perversions" hidden under the surface. It's highly unlikely that your cross-dressing spouse is going to molest your kids, the neighbor's kids, or try to lure a boy-child into their world. Understanding and embracing this aspect of your spouse's personality does nothing more than bring you closer than you could ever have thought possible. Discouraging this aspect separates a part of his life from yours - a part soooo important! I, personally, can only compare the pain to how I would feel if he discouraged me from keeping/seeing/parenting my children!
My spouse and I have spent many extremely enjoyable periods of time together and some of the best times have been with his alter-ego, Steffi. Interestingly, they have very distinct
personalities. Steffi is so much more sensitive, and almost shy. I love seeing her blossom and gain confidence in her feminity. She is a joy to be around.
My husband's cross-dressing has only added to our lives.
It has taken nothing away. The only thing that has ever frustrated me is that knowing, embracing and loving Steffi as I do S has placed me in a "closet" (so to speak) too! I am anxious to meet other supportive SO's. I'm interested in our coming out of the closet, tho that is ultimately Steffi's decision to make as her life will be more impacted than mine by that decision.
In the meantime, I am feeling very blessed. I have my wonderful husband, a person who is very masculine and at the same time, Steffi, who is quickly becoming one of my best
friends. Funny thing... but there are times I'd prefer to discuss situations that occur with Steffi rather than S. Her response is so different. Her level of understanding so much more female.
In any event.... I am available for e-mail if anyone else would like to chat with me! You can reach me at Couple2869@aol.com. Can it be
that I am the only SO here that not only embraces, but loves both sides of her spouse?
Pam
|
