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Well, I guess I'll begin by telling you a little bit about myself.
I'm a 17-year-old girl living in a small town in the Midwest. I'm bi, I love the arts, and I love to read. My friends call me Twink, Lord knows why, but if you're reading this then I guess we have a bit in common, which makes us friends. So call me Twink. But let's get on with it!
When my boyfriend and I had been together for about four months, he told me that he had a very serious question to ask me.
A little concerned, I tried to get him to tell me what it was. He got scared and wouldn't talk. About two weeks later, on the Saturday before Easter as a matter of fact, he came over to my house and we were sitting in my room talking. He said that he had a note for me. He explained that in this note was his BIG SECRET. He said that it wasn't as if he had killed anyone or anything, but that I might not like him and might not want to talk to him after I read it. This had me a little worried. But I figured that if there was some BIG SECRET about him that I didn't know about, our relationship couldn't go on if I didn't know about it. So I asked him to give me the note. He reached into his pocket, but couldn't bring himself to give me the note. I had to reach in myself and pull it out, but he was still holding on to it. He wouldn't let me open it up and read it in the same room as he was in, so he led me (by the note) out into the hallway and sat me down at the top of the stairs. Then he ran back into my room and left me there to find out what this BIG SECRET was.
"Dear Twink," it begins.
"This might be easier to put down on paper because it is hard to say. It is probably my big secret. ... My one big secret is I have a fetish. ...for women's undergarments and clothing." And he continued on to cover both sides of a piece of notebook paper explaining that he knew since he was little and played dress-up that he liked women's clothes more than he should. "...I'm telling you about this because we are very close and this is part of my sexuality. ..." He ended with, "...it feels better to get this off my chest. We can become even closer (if there is any closer) because I am being more honest. This all is probably a big shock, but I know you will still love me because you are great like that."
Well, it WAS a shock. I sat there at the top of the steps and read the whole thing over twice more before I stood up and walked back to my room. I found him curled up on
my bed in the corner against the wall as if he were trying to hide. I sat down next to him and gave him a hug.
"It's alright," I said. "You don't hate me?" he asked without even turning around. I assured him I didn't, and I told him that we'd work through
everything. We talked a little more about it, and tried to sort out both of our concerns. My major issue wasn't with the clothes themselves, but what, if any, part they would have in our relationship.
I rationalized that this was the same person that I knew and loved, and that this was a part of him that I was going to have to accept. After thinking about it for a few days
and getting myself used to the idea, I asked to see him dressed. That went well, and he made every effort to please me that was possible, which alleviated my fear of him ignoring me in favor of the clothes.
About a month later, I started to like it. I think that maybe it was the woman in him that attracted me to him in the first place. After all, I'd never been able to find what I'd wanted in any of the other guys I'd dated!
We've been together for just over a year now (Nov. 17), and we still have the occasional BLT (Big Long Talk) when I feel like it's only about the clothing, or when he feels like his needs aren't being met,
or if we're planning a scene (we've gotten into bondage, etc.) and we need to work out the details.
The thing that has helped us the most is what we promised each other right from the start: that we would always listen to each other no matter what, and that we would always speak up if one of us had a problem. Well, what else can I say? Communication is key in any relationship, but especially in one which has big issues like this to deal with. And that communication needs to be open to any subject - ANY SUBJECT!! - so that you know that you can always talk to your partner about what's bothering you or what you'd like to try sometime.
Share your fantasies with each other. You never know - you might end up having some of them come true. Who doesn't want to live out their fantasies?
Before I go, I want anyone who reads this to know that they can e-mail me at tw1nk@geocities.com and that I answer all my mail!
Fare thee well, I love you all!
*************TwiNk Q MusAcHio >=-)(-=>
UPDATE 10-15-99
Well, well, well! It's been a while since I've read what I've written, and some
things have changed. But others – the really important things – have not changed. I am still with my honey now, after almost three years. We are both
19 now, in college, and on our way to the "real world." We have been dealing with the trials and tribulations that go along with any relationship, as well as the
special concerns that come with his being a transvestite. He has gotten comfortable enough with himself dressed to give ``her" a name – becca. Now, it
hasn't been easy, I won't kid you about that, but it has been worth it.
Honest communication – and lots of it – continues to be one of the magic ingredients that keep our relationship running. We've been through a lot
together: both sets of our parents getting divorced, both of us graduating, sundry problems that one might associate with late adolescence. Through all of this, we
have remained best friends. I have always believed that for love to last, two people must first be friends, then be lovers. Friendship alone has helped us through so much!
Becca continues to play a part in our relationship, and she has proven herself to be a very attentive lover as well as a fun person to be around. She came to both
my junior and senior prom, and we were met with surprisingly little overt hostility, though we did get a lot of confused and/or dirty looks. We have also
gone out together on a few other occasions, Halloween included, and I've found that if neither of us acts anything but confident, we don't get much – if any –
trouble from most people. And remember that this is the Midwest!
One thing that continues to bother me, though, is the lack of resources for trans-people and those who love them. Hats off to Dana for providing a good
one. But perhaps some of the rest of us need to organize something in our own areas? Just a suggestion for later thought, perhaps.
Well, before I sign off again, I'll let everyone know that they can contact me at evening_rose@hotmail.com. If you wrote to me at the geocities address, I
apologize for not having responded – I no longer have access to that account. I will be answering any and all mail that comes to me through Hotmail.
Listen to your heart, and follow your dreams wherever they may lead you. Believe in yourself, believe in love, and you can do the impossible.
Blessed Be,
TwiNk
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