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My husband of six years, just told me last year that he was actually born intersexed and that he had decided to change teams (live as a woman). At first, I was
shocked. No that's an understatement. I was devastated. Not precisely for what I was told, but for having lived for so many years not knowing something that was such an important part of who my soulmate was. I lost
trust for a while.
Over the last year, however, I have come to the conclusion that all of this gender stuff is only as important as we DECIDE it is. My spouse and I have reexamined
our roles not just sexually, but socially and within other aspects of our relationship. And I must say that the conclusion has been very eye-opening. Not just liberating for my spouse, this experience has also been
liberating for me, as I begin to truly know myself as a human being, as opposed to just a woman. Because in reality that is what we are all - human beings - and to segment everyone off into male and female roles or
clothes, is to limit everyone to some definitional prison.
And just so everyone knows, I was very conservative and uptight to begin with. This was not expected (for God sake's I am a Republican), but I love my spouse and
have learned to deal with it and appreciate each other for who we really are spiritually. And in that we have fulfilled the true meaning of marriage in mind body and soul (even if the state no longer recognizes our
union).
By the way, we're from Kansas, so hang in there everyone. You can get through this too.
P.S.: My husband makes a beautiful woman...
Shalon
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